Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Spring Break

Hello Boys and Girls....as you can tell I haven't been on. I was on a beautiful, all expenses paid Spring Break vacation in the glorious, the one and only....Toms River, NJ. Ahh yes, it is quite the place to be this time of the year. You can enjoy snow on the first day of Spring, 70 degree weather on a Monday, and 41 degree weather on a Tuesday. It's really just the thrill of a lifetime...

(If you haven't picked up on the sarcasm yet.....You need to recollect your thoughts and question where you're going in life)

Anyway I missed quite a bit on my luxurious Spring Break. I know You all missed my Final Four analysis but I was so distraught at the fact that I had ONE team in the Final Four in my bracket AND I gave you probably the worst picks in my Elite 8 analysis in the history of Elite 8 analyses (I had to Google the right pronunciation of analyses, you have to admit that is tricky as hell.) But I have to say I did not enjoy the national title game....complete snoozer. Michigan St. isn't even the 5th best team in the country, they just benefited from playing in detroit. UNC has been the best team and they proved that in the game....

So on to something I've never done, I'm going to write about the first week in baseball and some things I've noticed and I'm going to tell you what teams are in trouble....in a comedic way of course....so here we go...

MLB Opening Week:

You know your in trouble when: The New York Mets are only 5 games in and they already lost a game due to...(take a deep breath and count to 10 Met fans)... A BALK. Going to be a long season in Citi Field.

You know your in trouble when: Chen-Ming Wang has an ERA that is higher than my current age.

You know it will be an interesting season when: The Marlins start 4-0. If you don't know much about the Marlins, they don't even have someone that makes more money per year than me.....and I'm sitting at $120.00 a week substitute teaching. I mean seriously how do these guys win ball games, you can't name me more than 3 people on that team. They do have the best Shortstop in baseball though.
You know your in trouble when: The Nations capital is supposed to be going through a change, and a push for change. Well, your Washington Nationals are 0-7. Someone tell Obama to give the Nationals a stimulus package because they need it. Yeesh.

Could possibly be in trouble: Boston Red Sox. So many injuries really early. Something to keep an eye on.
Possibly in trouble when: The reigning Cy Young winners in both leagues haven't won a game yet, and both have an ERA over 8 runs. Quick side note: Tim Lincecum looks like he could be in a few of my classes. I mean seriously he looks like a baby, but he throws straight flames.
Could possibly be distracted when: Your legendary announcer, Mr. Harry Kalas, passes away one week into the season. Such an emotional week for the Phillies, it will be interesting to see if it effects their play.

And Finally,

You definitely know your in trouble when: Your team pays $250 million dollars to upgrade its pitching staff....and against a division rival and current American league champion, Tampa Bay Rays...Nick Swisher has to pitch for your team. If your reading this and you don't know who I'm talking about I'm talking about The New York Yankees and their 1B/OF Nick Swisher. He pitched an inning for the Yankees the other day in a 15-5 rout. Funny thing is he is going to finish with the best ERA in baseball this year. 0.00 Ladies and Gentleman your New York Yankees.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Take the time to comment on this work of art!!!