Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Day to Be Thankful

Apparently today is a national holiday in which people all across the country are stuffing their faces with massive amounts of food, drinking all 561 flavors of Sam Adams, taking unexplainable naps after eating, watching football from 12:30-10pm, and enjoying the company of their families. Oh, and it's a day to be thankful too.

So before everyone starts their day with their respective families, I think it's time for you all to know the top 10 things that I'm thankful for...

Number 10: I am thankful for the ability to watch football ALL DAY on thanksgiving. Too bad my Italian family will be so loud that I won't be able to hear Joe Buck's monotone voice or Phil Simms talk about his mother's peach cobbler.

Number 9: I am thankful for the fact that my Cowboys play EVERY thanksgiving day. I am not thankful for the fact that I have to watch a bottom 5 team play them every year on this day...thus leading to a 20 point blow. My cousin Vinnie (no not the movie), and I had this brief conversation this morning:

Vinnie: Yo who are the cowboys playing today?

Tom: The Raiders

Vinnie: Great, cant wait to watch these games today, seriously why can't they schedule good teams to play on thanksgiving its the perfect holiday too watch football and we have to watch the Raiders.

Me: (At a loss of words)

Oh, we get to watch the Lions too.

Number 8: I am thankful for Thanksgiving day food. But not your traditional Turkey and carrots. I'm talking about that classic Italian gravy ( it's called gravy not sauce you morons) that my grandpa is going to make because to be honest...I'm not too fond of Turkey and an inordinate amount of vegetables. It's almost too healthy.

Number 7: I am thankful for Peyton Manning, Chris Johnson, Adrian Peterson, Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson, and (gulp) Tony Romo. Be because if these guys didn't play in the NFL, I don't know If I would watch. <--That might be a lie. Actually, it's definitely a lie. Number 6: I am thankful for Bill Simmons. Not only does his columns and podcasts get me through the week, but his new book The Book of Basketball got me through the morning of boring-ness leading up to the games today. It's 760 pages long. I'm on 101. Its taken me a long time to get to 101, I'm figuring by 2011 I'll be done.

Number 5: I am thankful for Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Kobe Bryant, and Dwight Howard. Just for the simple fact that they make my favorite sport exciting and because I'm running out of things to be thankful for. Am I close to one yet?

Number 4: I am definitely NOT thankful for Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett. Between the two of them I've already lost 5-7.5 years on my life. Now I'm going to have to actually work out when I'm 50 to get those years back.

Here's an idea Wade...just stay home and eat turkey today. Let Jerry just hire a "closer" coach...kind of like Mariano Rivera. A one day contract for Bill Cowher to come in and coach the thanksgiving day game. Why is this so wrong? I just want to know what it's like to have a coach that actually has a pulse.

Number 3: I am SOOO thankful for Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. This game will single handily be the reason that the graduation rate of college students will go down by 25% this year. I mean who wouldn't rather drop a tactical nuclear bomb on a bunch of little 12 year old kids whose parents shouldn't have bought the game for them, yet they allow them to play and get screamed at by 20-something college kids who use ridiculous profanity and talk massive trash. (Yes, yes I do this. Don't think less of me.) Shoot, that reminds me, I have some papers to do.

Number 2: I am thankful for the fact that Tony Romo is going to have another fantastic game on Thanksgiving today, only to lead us into the "I looked great for 3 months and in reality I'm really just fooling you all to think I'm a good QB" mode. Tony Romo is like that 3 year girlfriend you've had that just isn't interested in you anymore but she keeps leading you on until she finds another guy. Can't wait for a 1-4 December, Tony!!

Number 1: Of course last and not least, I am thankful for my family and friends. There's nothing better than spending the day eating and watching football with the people you love. Everybody enjoy the day with their loved ones, Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I really like number five. Those guys have made the NBA great again.


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