It's March, Need Some Help?

If you were some kind of a computer hacker, and you understood how to do all of the crazy things that allow you into certain databases of information, and you somehow hacked into Kean's student body database, and you happen to look up the student, Thomas Michael DeRiggi, you would see that he is actually a double major. His first major and the thing that he spends most of his time concentrating on is Physical Education and Health. If you happen to scroll down underneath that you would see that his second major is non other than, Bracketology.

Just in case you live under a rock, and some of you do, it's March.

I repeat....IT'S MARCH!!!

Finally we have something to look forward to other than average NFL Free Agent signings, and pitchers and catchers reporting for spring training. It's that time of the year. It's the most wonderful time of the year. And yes, it is my favorite time of the year (Disclaimer: I have about 5 favorite times of the year, so just bear with me).

Today, Selection Sunday, is one of the top five best days of the year, because it brings us the greatest tournament known to man kind: The NCAA Basketball Tournament. So you guys are asking, What is this blog actually about today? Well let me explain. Year after year after year after year, people fill out brackets to be involved in this fantastic event. I categorized these people into 5 categories that look like this:

Group E (The Paris Hilton Division): These our people who have NO IDEA who played who this year, who is in the tournament, when the games start, hell, they might not even know it's in progress. But these people fill out brackets every year because it's fun to be competitive, and somehow a winner comes out of this group every year.

Group D (The Khloe Kardashian Division): These are people who know what the tournament is, but have no idea about its participants. But these people have a catch, they have someone really close to them who knows a lot about basketball and can give them some hints and tips on who to pick. This is the scariest division, because you always underestimate these people.

Group C (The Billy Crystal Division): These are people who are avid sports fans, but just don't follow college basketball enough to really grasp it. Usually these people are bigger fans of another sport and college basketball is on the back burner.

Group B (The Tom DeRiggi Division): C'mon, what would my own blog be without me naming a division after myself. These people are people who follow the sport religiously and try to find out everything they can about every team before they make selections. In this group you see the majority of people who lose their bracket contests to Groups C through E because somehow these people do all the research, but get consumed by too much over analyzing and then get frustrated because they lost to someone with the intelligence level of Paris Hilton.

Group A (The Joe Lunardi Division): These people, and there's only about 5 in the world, know everything about every team. These people probably get paid to cover NCAA basketball and somehow win their brackets every year. This is about 0.0000000000001% of the population.

Continuing from before, millions of people fill out these brackets without the slightest clue about basketball. They make these rushed decisions because either they don't really care, or they want to be the first to call the major upsets. This is why I'm here. I am going to guide you all in picking the sleepers, the favorites, and the final four along the way. Let's start with a few sleepers to impress all of your friends with:

The most obvious one that I can see is between 6)Tennessee and 11)San Diego State. San Diego State won 25 games this year and Tennessee is so shaky at times that they make other teams better somehow. Take SDS and you'll be a happy camper.

Next I have a gut feeling that 13)Siena is going to beat 4)Purdue. Purdue lost their best player and just hasn't been the same since, and Siena is always tough come tournament time.

Lastly, watch 12)UTEP vs 5)Butler. Butler is riding high on their 5 seed but UTEP is a feisty group and I wouldn't be surprised if UTEP pulls of the upset.

As far as second round match ups go, watch out for 6)Marquette 3)Baylor. Baylor is a scary team but Marquette has been Big East-tested, as I like to call it. Very intriguing match up here.

Watch out for a sweet 16 run by 12)UTEP. If all goes to plan and they win, they will face a shaky Vanderbilt team that I don't trust one bit. If their was a safe sweet 16 run I think you see it in UTEP.

On to the Final Four...
I don't want to spoil my picks or anything but these are just some preliminary thoughts....

Duke got the easiest ride of all the teams, but I still do not trust them. I wouldn't be shocked if you saw a Baylor, or Villanova come out of that bracket. Also I LOVE, Kansas to the point where I think if you don't pick them to win the whole thing that your either high or you just don't care. I actually love Syracuse's draw because their two toughest opponents, Pitt and K-State, are both beatable teams and I expect the Orange men to roll into Indianapolis. Kentucky is super duper young, and I don't trust them at all. I understand everyone is in love with John Wall and everyone's doing his dance,(Yes, I can do the John Wall dance to perfection), but I'm just not sold on this team in crunch time against a team like, say, West Virginia. West Virginia-Kentucky would be an excellent game to watch, but I love WVU to make the Final Four.

So there is some preliminary thoughts on this years tournament. This year's field doesn't have the WOW factor like some tourneys in the past but it should be an entertaining few weeks. Check back next week as I explain why all of my picks were wrong and you guys should never listen to me again.

H-O-R-S-E

Let’s imagine for a second, that any of us actually understand the TV show, LOST. Let’s also pretend that somehow we harnessed the island’s energy and we’re able to skip through time like the island in season 4. Unfortunately this blog post doesn’t include gorgeous woman like Kate, or cool dudes who throw knives or torture people like Locke and Sayid. We’re going to take this time machine back one week to NBA All-Star Weekend (which I should have been at, we’ll get into that later). So just like true LOST-fashion we’re going back in time hold on…

(LOUD CREEKING SOUND)…

(GIGANTIC WHITE FLASH)…

Annnnd we’re here. It’s Friday night. The first event of the day is my new favorite event, the HORSE competition. The dunk contest used to be my favorite contest of the night but it is becoming so bad that it’s getting unwatchable, kind of like Grey’s Anatomy. Last year was the first year they introduced the HORSE competition and it was rather star studded. It consisted of my man-crush Kevin Durant, Joe Johnson, and OJ Mayo. It was pretty entertaining and I thought that this year’s was going to be even that much better. This year Kevin Durant came back to defend his title, which was a plastic horse trophy. But that’s neither here nor there. Rajon Rondo and Omri Casspi were the other two contestants. First Red Flag. Omri Casspi? Maybe I should just leave it for the running diary.

Now, earlier in the day I had called my boy Fitz to come over and watch the Saturday night festivities with me, college style. Just keep this in mind as your reading through the diary. Let’s get into it…

6:55PM – I figured it would be fitting if I gave you my pick to win the whole thing (as if you didn’t know who it was going to be) Mr. Kevin Durant. I picked Durant for two reasons. Last year when the going got tough in the competition, Durant turned it up a notch and showed that competitive mentality that says, “I’m not losing,” and went on a tear making somewhere around 764 shots in a row. The second reason is because he is now my single favorite NBA player, sorry Lebron.

6:58PM – Pre contest odds (according to me), Durant -250, Rondo +150, Casspi +894.

7:00PM – Ernie Johnson is telling Kenny Smith, Chuck, and C-Webb that they have to partner up and coach a player in the contest. C-Webb had first pick and chose Rondo, who is a major sleeper in this contest because he’s very creative on the court. Charles had Kevin Durant but then makes a last minute trade to Omri Casspi (We’ll see how this turns out). This leaves Kenny Smith with Kevin Durant. Deadly.

7:05PM – No sign of Eric Fitz.

7:15PM – The first shot of the contest is an uploaded video from YouTube and every one has to make it or they get a letter. I’m pretty sure that’s not how you play HORSE but OK, let’s try it. By the way, it’s a backwards through the legs bomb from the three line. Yup, this is going to work out well. Charles has no idea why this is a rule, me neither Chuck.

7:18PM – In case you were scoring at home, they all missed. New Lebron/Kobe Puppet Commercial is on. Thye definitely lost all momentum with these commercials. Why not something about Kobe’s 4th ring and asking him where Lebron was last May? Or is that too obvious?

7:21PM – Durant bangs home his first shot from 30 feet. I love him

7:22PM – Rondo sinks the same shot. I thought he couldn’t hit anything outside 5 feet? Casspi airballs his first shot, followed by a quick cut to Charles Barkley doing the Peyton Manning face. Priceless.

7:25PM – Durant’s jumper is so wet.

7:26PM – “That’s what she said.” – Michael Scott, The Office.

7:28PM – Odds for the biggest man crush on Kevin Durant: Kenny Smith +250, Bill Simmons +150, Tom DeRiggi -350.

7:29PM – Chuck may be the worst coach for a HORSE competition I’ve ever seen. It’s a complete awkward silence between he and Casspi, kind of like Tiger and his sex therapist.

7:30PM – Reason no. 46 while Kevin Durant will win: Has that MJ/Kobe killer competitiveness. Everyone is joking around, but Durant is stone faced and ready to win. He will play it cool at first but when he has to, he will light it up for the win.

7:34PM – Don’t know how many times I can say it, this event needs Steve Nash.

7:36PM – No one is really making shots right now. Omri Casspi is about to be eliminated, but is saved by an easy bank shot. It’s at this point we find out that Casspi has never played HORSE before. Oh great, so he’s supposed to have any chance? His odds just went up to +6900.

7:39PM – How long to we have to go until we admit Casspi was a horrendous choice for this competition. He can’t even make up his own shot ideas, coupled with Chuck as a coach. Disaster.

7:45PM – Kenny Smith has an idea for a shot. He brings our a little kid from the front row wearing a Dallas jersey. Kevin Durant shoots the jumper over him and sinks it, followed by 5-6 jokes about how this is realistic because Dallas plays no defense. There’s a reason why these guys win Emmy’s for the best sports show. If you’re still scoring at home, all three sank the jumper over the Dallas defender. Pure comedy.

7:47PM – Audio slip up by TNT – Chuck is complaining about how long this is going saying that he needs to meet up with his family and friends in the other arena. Maybe if you included Steve Nash in this instead of Omri Casspi we would be done.

7:49PM – Because of horrible scheduling, Kenny and C-Webb have to leave to participate in the shooting stars competition, leaving Chuck to coach all three. Yikes.

7:55PM – Chuck mistakenly calls Omri, Omar. In related news, Chuck is an idiot.

7:56PM – Omar, I mean Omri Casspi gets eliminated. Thank goodness. There’s no doubt in my mind that I could have beaten him. EJ announces that if time runs short they are going to a 3 point shootout to decide the winner. Great planning, TNT. Why don’t you just hand it to Kevin Durant now. Go ahead.

8:00PM – KD vs RR. Rondo was getting tricky because it is the only way to beat Kevin Durant. Going into a shootout now, here we go. KD by a landslide.

8:02PM – KD has hit 4 in a row, Rondo 4 in a row.

8:04PM – KD hits 8 in a row before missing. Rondo has hit 10 straight. Yes, you just read that correctly.

8:05PM – Chuck is erging Kevin and Rondo to keep going so the TNT producers sweat out how much time they will have to cut out because this is running to long. I haven’t seen Chuck this excited since, well I’ve never seen him that excited actually.

8:06PM – Rondo finally gets the last letter, Durant wins. That was actually way more exciting then I thought it would be. Durant receives an actual trophy. Why? The plastic Horse trophy has so much more meaning. Ughh. Someone put me in charge of this competition.

8:08PM – It’s 8:08. Do you know where your Eric Fitz is?

As I predicted, Mr. Durant wound up winning. But I really think this event needs Durant, Nash, and Lebron. But I also know Lebron will never do it because he is afraid to get beat in something. It’s the same reason why he won’t participate in the dunk contest. Comon Lebron, every great competed in All-Star Saturday, except you. Just do it already. Alright back to reality

(WHITE FLASH)

NBA's Future Forecast: Looks like Thunder

Back in the day, which was a Wednesday by the way, me and my roommates used to discuss for hours upon hours upon more hours about the NBA, NFL, and MLB. Hell, we even threw in some Tennis and Soccer when the occasion presented itself. One thing we always focused on was the future of certain teams and certain players we loved to watch and loved to debate about. I remember endless nights where my roommates Fraz, Fitz, Ricky, and I constantly debated who would go where in free agency, what teams had enough to make a run in the end, and even which celeb athletes would wind up in the oddest situations in the celebrity limelight (See.Kardashian-Odom, Khloe).

Back when I was up at school, we had endless discussions about Kevin Durant, and whether or not he would be the superstar that Fitz and I thought he would be. We heard all the criticisms: He's too skinny, he can't rebound in the NBA, will his jump shot translate when he only shot 30% from three in college? and even the ridiculous notion that some analysts had him being nothing more than a bench player in the league someday. I wonder how those idiots feel now.

I don't mean to toot my own horn. Actually yes I do, what am I talking about....but I knew this would happen with Kevin Durant. Mr. Durant is enjoying an MVP-like season of the likes in which we haven't seen a youngster do since....Jordan? In his last 30 games, Durant has scored 30 points in TWENTY of those games including a stretch of 8 games in a row of 30 or more points. Not only is he scoring, he is doing it efficiently. He's averaging 49% shooting, 38% from three point line, and 88% from the free throw line. Oh, and about him rebounding in the NBA...he's averaging 7.5 a game from the small forward position. Did I mention he JUST turned 21 in September. Oh My God. We could be witnessing the next greatest player in that line of players who changed the game: Magic/Bird/Jordan/Lebron/Durant.

I finagled with the idea of writing a Durant vs. Lebron blog months ago before the season even started because in my honest opinion, I feel like Durant is going to have a more successful career then Lebron will. Think about it logically...

Durant is in Oklahoma City. Not exactly the limelight. Lebron will always be compared to Jordan and he won't be good enough until he wins 6 rings, whereas no one is expecting anything from Durant. There is much less pressure on Durant to win and win now. Lebron is always going to play with scrub-ass (yeah I just made that up) players in his supporting cast because they have a GM with his head somewhere where it shouldn't be. Danny Ferry makes moves like, "Hey let's sign Shaq for 10 million a year when he'll clog the lane and take up space from Lebron, considering our whole offense has two plays in which Lebron just goes 1 on 1 the whole time." Or you hear Mike Brown on the sidelines (wait a second, no you don't because he doesn't actually do anything) screaming at his supporting cast that HE assembled. God forbid they saved the Shaq cap space and signed, I don't know, Jamal Crawford who is averaging 16 a game off the bench for Atlanta.

Let's continue with Durant's dream situation that he's in. He has a GM in Sam Presti that knows how to push all the right buttons at the right time. He doesn't panic and go spend 75 million on Charlie Villanueva or Ben Gordon, drafts the right players like Jeff Green, James Harden, and Russel Westbrook, and he actually understands quality role players that he can get for cheap in order to fill gaps and contribute quietly: Thabo Sefolosha and Nenad Krstic. They have a nucleus that consists of the starting five of Westbrook (most underrated PG in the NBA), Thabo Sefolosha (solid defender, role player), Durant (ahead of his time superstar), Jeff Green (Al-Horford clone but a little skinnier), and Nenad Krstic (underrated Big man), with bench players including James Harden (star in-the-making), Eric Maynor (great backup PG), and Nick Collison (solid rebounder).

Jesus Christ...

Just look at that roster. Combine that with the fact that the Thunder are STILL 13 million UNDER the salary cap. I just got the chills. Can you tell I'm obsessed with this team? Let's take that 13 million and add 3 million to it for expiring contracts and roster moves at the end of the year, and the Oklahoma City Thunder have 16 million to throw around at that coveted free agent class. My lord, could you imagine if they landed Amare Stoudemire, or (gulp) Chris Bosh. Let's break this down into 4 scenarios which all could realistically happen...

Scenario 1: Thunder add Chris Bosh and a lower level guard like, let's say, Rip Hamilton. This gives you a starting five of: Westbrook, Hamilton, Durant, Jeff Green, Chris Bosh. Bench: Harden, Sefolosha, Krstic, Maynor. The Thunder lose a little bit of defense in their starting 5 but gain a knock down shooter in Hamilton and a low post presence that they don't currently have. As well as someone to bang bodies with the Duncans, Bynums, and Yao's of the Western Conference.

Scenario 2: Thunder add Carlos Boozer and Raja Bell. Starting Five: Westbrook, Bell, Durant, Green, Boozer. Bench: Harden, Sefolosha, Krstic. Not as flashy of a move as everyone would expect, but that's how OKC works. Strictly a defense move and a low post presence move.

Scenario 3: Thunder add Tyson Chandler. S-5: Westbrook, Sefolosha, Durant, Green, Chandler. Finally gives the Thunder a legitimate center to defend the West centers and rebound the ball. Allowing Durant to get out on fastbreaks and easier buckets in transition.

Scenario 4: I hope your ready....Thunder add Chris Bosh and Jamal Crawford. Oh Jesus. Starting 5: Westbrook, Sefolosha, Durant, Green, Bosh. Bench: Jamal Crawford, Harden, and Krstic. This would be the ideal situation for the Thunder. They get Bosh, the interior presence they need. Meanwhile they're getting the hottest bench player in the league, and someone who is currently averaging 16 a game. This gives them a scorer off the bench to grow along with Harden and to handle the scoring while Durant is out or out of the play.

I'm absolutely giddy over the future of this team. I don't have a favorite team in the NBA, but the Thunder might have to be them. This team with one or two simple acquisitions could be on top of the league for the next decade. Will we be looking back on the decade in 2020 and debating whether or not OKC was the team of the decade? Will Durant be the next one to bust the door in on the NBA like Jordan did in the late 80s and early 90s? Whatever happens, I'm forecasting the future of the NBA with plenty of Thunder.

How Bout' A New Year's Resolution...or Five

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy New Year, and any other Happy-(fill in a made up holiday) that I happened to miss during my month-long hiatus. There's no way you can have a well established blog during the holiday season. I'm convinced. Between the shopping, school finals, decorations being put up, and having to lie to everyone under the age of 10 about Santa Claus...it takes a toll on one's ability to successfully give you readers a free blog every week. But hey, were all about bouncing back in 2010. That's right, it's 2010. Not only am I looking forward to almost finishing college, another first round exit for the Cowboys, Colts fans calling for Jim Caldwell's head because after they win the Super Bowl they'll have 1 loss on it to the (gulp) Jets, and Kevin Durant becoming a bona fide superdee-duper-star right before our eyes, I'm also looking forward to mistakenly writing 09 on every assignment this semester because writing '10 is just too weird.

Man, do I know how to go off on a tangent. Anyway, like I said, this year is all about bouncing back and what better way to do that with the perfect New Years Resolution. Now, people who make New Years Resolution usually make it to the end of January before they decide that they've had enough and New Years is overrated. I say, the hell with that. Us real people may not be able to hold a New Years Resolution, but our sports stars must try and come up with some New Years Resolution's so that they don't drive their fans through a wall with stress and frustration. Oh you're already through a wall with stress and frustration? Me too.

A New Year's Resolution should be something that you can actually accomplish. It should be something that you want to do (or stop doing) that will ultimately lead you to a happier/healthier life. Well with our coveted sports stars it is a little different. Their resolutions have to be well thought out so that they include the well-being of their fans. So let's get into a few people who ABSOLUTELY must make these specific New Year's Resolutions.

1.) Tiger Woods. Jesus, Tiger. Why don't you just go to an Island you own for like 6 months and just stay there. Shoot, you can bring whatever mistress you choose, but just stay out of the limelight for a while. This country forgives quickly if you just apologize. Look at A-Rod, Andy Pettite, and Jason Giambi. Coincidentally, they were all Yankees (shaking my head), but they all apologized and no one says one word about any scandal they've ever been a part of. So Tiger your New Year's Resolution is to apologize, stop calling your mistresses, and just chill out in 2010.

2.) Peyton Manning. Peyton, you need to just chill out. You are insanely good at football that everyone is at the point where they HAVE to like you, even if they hate you. It's all because you work so god damn hard and are so god damn good that every other god damn quarterback looks like they have down syndrome when they play against you. So my New Year's Resolution for you is to chill out in 2010. Let some other player win the MVP award. Let some other team go for the undefeated season. Let some other team win the Superbowl. You're mad annoying Peyton. Stop practicing and studying!!

3.) ESPN. Hey ESPN directors, whoever is in charge of bashing the Cowboys on a weekly basis, maybe it's time to be a little less bias. We get it. You don't like the Cowboys. You'd rather have a big market team like somewhere in New York or Philadelphia or New England win. But I've got news for you. This team is different. So maybe it's time to cut the crap and report news unbiasedly.

Part2.) Hop off Brett Favre's you know what. I mean really. Yes the guy is an iron man. He is a warrior with the uncanny ability to make a play when a play needs to be made. But the love that you guys have over him is really sickening. You've turned me into someone who doesn't even like him anymore because of all of these reports that you guys bring out and how much of an infatuation you have with him. Just please take it easy. There's about 1000 other people in the NFL to report on...in case you were wondering.

4.) Tony Romo. Oh no Tony. Don't you do it. Don't you fool us into thinking that you're going to be different this year. You're not fooling me. You may have every other Cowboys fan fooled, but not me. Until you actually win a playoff game and show us that you can lead this team well into January I'm still having my doubts. So my New Year's Resolution for you is to just be a leader. Show us that you can lead this team and put them on your back into January because the Cowboys only go as far as you go. Plain and Simple.

5.) Brett Favre. It's very simple Brett. Retire. You've given everything you can possbily give to this sport. You've given us countless highlights, countless hold-your-breath moments, and you've even managed to get Brad Childress a contract extension when he may or may not be the top 3 worst coaches in the NFL. Just go fishing somewhere from September-January. Trust me the league will be OK without you. So my New Year's Resolution for you is to enjoy your post-football life. Find another thing to be spectacular at.

Once again, I want to apologize for the hiatus. I promise I will be back in full-swing this year. That is my New Year's Resolution, to be a better writer and hopefully grab an editor along the way. You know, cuz a brotha don't always talk perfect english, ya dig? Have a Happy New Year all!

The List

I woke up today not wanting to get up, but I had to because I had to go to a boring 8am class in which I didn't even do anything. So basically it was a waste of time. But out of this waste of time the idea for this article struck me as I overheard a girl in my class talking to her boyfriend. We were doing presentations in this class and each student had to present a movement in a sport. So with sports and girlfriends/wives on my mind, I came up with this concept. We're going to simply call it....The List.

The list is a composition by yours truly that is going to consist of every single sporting event throughout the calendar year that a true sports fan should have the ability to watch. There are no excuses to miss events on this list. I don't care if your wives' best friend since she were 2 years old has scheduled their 3rd marriage on the day of a sporting event. I don't care if your wife wants to have a day with her family (my in-laws) because you haven't seem them in a while. I don't even care if you tell us that we're stupid boys and threaten to break up or divorce us. We're still watching them, because they are on The List. I will also go over some proper etiquette that you females must conduct during our time watching everything on The List.

Now, before we get into The List, let me lay out some ground rules/statements. In no way shape or form is this an attack at you, ladies. This is just a testament, a factual document, an informative piece, dare I say....a marriage saver, that is going to help you be a better girlfriend or future wife. If you abide by the guidelines on The List, and support your man's fetish for watching sports 24/7 like watching their first child when they sleep, you ladies should be A-OK.

Every now and again we like our significant others to actually watch the game or event with us. It's great to include you girls in our sports lives because you don't want to be that girl who's at a get-together at our friends house and all of the other wives and girlfriends are name dropping like they were Howie Schwab (Stump the Schwab). You don't want to walk up to a conversation and the girls are saying names like, Peyton Manning, Lebron James, Alex Rodriguez, Alex Ovechkin, Tiger Woods (the females don't exactly like Mr. Woods right now), or Adrian Peterson, and you have no idea who those athletes are. So, we'd like you to take a decent interest in our sports. Please don't take a COMPLETE interest in our sports because us guys do need some time to ourselves to shout curse words, scream at the TV, eat garbage food, and put our hands in our pants during the games, without getting ridiculed. So let's try to keep it to 2 questions per half, 3-4 comments about the hott-ness of a player per game, and only 1-2 dirty looks per evening.

So now without further ado we are going to pronounce The List. Bare with me ladies and gents.

Disclaimer: I should also mention that The List is subject to change whenever I feel like it, or if I miss a particular sporting event.

The List

The "I Can Miss Them, But I'm Going To Be Pissed at You for 3 Weeks" events:

• Baseball: We are allowed to watch every game of our favorite team.
  As well as every playoff game leading up to the World Series. If our team is not in the playoffs we can miss these, but we will be pissed. (May-October)
• Hockey: Any game involving Alexander Ovechkin or Sidney Crosby. These aren't that bad to miss because nobody likes hockey anyway. (May)
  
• Hockey: Stanley Cup Playoffs. Personally I don't think they matter until the Finals. (May)
  
• Soccer: MLS Championship and National Team exhibitions. (All Year)
  
• Olympics: Any event that doesn't include the National Basketball Team (Every Four Years)
• NBA: The NBA Draft. Don't get it twisted ladies, we will miss this for a dinner date with your friend, but just take into account that we aren't speaking for three weeks after. (June)
• Tennis: Any time Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer play against each other. This one might be a 5 week ban, ladies. (February-September)
  

The "Only Way I'm Missing These Events is if a Distant Friend Dies or My Mother Tells Me She's Going To Kill Me if I Don't Do Something" events:

• Baseball: All seven games of the World Series, regardless if your team is in them or not. (October)
  
• Golf: Anything that Tiger Woods plays in on Sundays. (All Year)
  
• Golf: The US Open, Master's, British Open, The Open Championship, and the PGA Championship. There is no way we are missing these events as long as Tiger Wood's is alive. (January-October)
• Olympics: The US Men's National Basketball Team's games during the Summer Olympics. Let us show our patriotism ladies, comon'. (Every Four Years)
  
• Documentaries: Any documentary that regards a favorite team/player/event of ours. (All Year)
  
• NBA: Regular Season match ups on Wednesday and Thursday nights. There's no way I'm missing Kenny and Chuck on TNT, Thursday nights. (October-June)
• NFL: Preseason Games of our Favorite Teams. (August)
• College Football: Any Top 25 match up, or any game your favorite team plays on Saturdays. (September-January)

The "Only Way I'm Missing These Events is if Someone We Know That's Close to Us Dies and/or Has to be Rushed to the Hospital, or My First Child is Being Born" Events:

• Soccer: National Team Games that are meaningful. (All Year)
  
• Soccer: Any world cup game. (Every Four Years)
• Soccer: World Cup Championship Game. (Every Four Years)
• Tennis: US Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and Australian Open. Trust me ladies and gentlemen, Tennis is much more exciting then you think. (February-October)
• Tennis: If Pete Sampras or Andre Agassi ever make a comeback, there's no way were not watching. (Whenever)
  
• College Basketball: Top 25 match up during the regular season. (October-March)
  
• College Basketball: March Madness bracket selection show. God I love this. (February)
• NBA: Playoff games that don't include the Finals. (May-June)
• College Football: Any Bowl game that I have a vested interest in. Deal with it. (September-January)

and now.....

The "Absolutely Can Not Miss, No Matter What the Circumstances are" events:

• College Basketball: Any game of March Madness. There is nothing we love more as sports fans than filling out a bracket, sitting at home from 12pm-11pm watching nothing but upsets and Dicky Vitale screaming. "It's March Madness baby!!!" all day long. This includes every round of games and the Final Four. (March)
  
• College Basketball: National Championship game. I don't even have to explain this one. (March)
• NFL: Sundays from September to February, us guys need our time from 11am to 11 pm. I call it the 11-11 rule. We need to watch every single game, have 3 computers in front of us to check fantasy scores every single second and there is no way shape or form we are missing our favorite team's game that week.(September-January)
• NFL: Monday Night Football, Sunday Night Football, Thursday Night Football, and Saturday Night Football. (September-January)
  
• NFL: Any Playoff Game in January, especially if our team makes the playoffs. There really is nothing that you can tell us that won't get us to watch this game. If you're rushing into labor....they better have a TV there, that's all I'm saying. (January)
  
• NBA: The NBA Finals. Regardless of the teams that are playing in it. (May-June)
• NFL: We Conclude with the Superbowl. This marks the ultimate can't miss sporting event. If you're going into labor you better hold that baby in until the 4th quarter is over. I'm sorry, that's just how it has to be.

Now that The List has been established, I urge all females who have a loved one or a significant other who loves sports to print this out. Put it on your wall. Put it at your place of work. Tell your girls about it. Tell your students. Tell your grandma. Make copies for your entire family. I don't care how you spread the information. It will give you at least something to talk about with your girlfriends. Maybe you'll talk about how ridiculous I am, maybe not. All I know is that The List has been made, and the men have spoken. Good day, and Good Luck.